people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
