come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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