i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
