grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
