he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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