Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
