what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
