party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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