I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
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In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
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Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize