Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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