wakey wakey hands off snakey
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
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