Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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