This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
