A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
