he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
