So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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