i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
