For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
