I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
