What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
