I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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