I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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