It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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