batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
