So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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