It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
