"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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