She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize