I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just want nice things and good sex
Randomize
