I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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