I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
