i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
