ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
