Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
