tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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