Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
