This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize