I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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