hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She's the barista slut.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
