I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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