i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
