this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
