so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
