You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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