According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
