i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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