Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
