Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My balls are so social today.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
