He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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