So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
