This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize