i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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