do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
should my penis look like a turkey
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
