wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
