Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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