And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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