Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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