Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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