if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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