I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Im part way to drunk.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
