Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I want her autograph on my taint
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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