So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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