I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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