Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
