watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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