so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
