Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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