what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Randomize
