She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
