He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
