god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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