chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
